Entries from July 2012 ↓

In news today that’s sure to make mini American flags unfurl from ladies vaginas across our great nation, swimmer Ryan Lochte won the gold medal in the 400-meter individual medley. Not only does winning our country’s first gold medal for the 2012 Olympics prove that he’s an amazing athlete, but also that men can get laid by wearing speedos around shamelessly.

Yep, that right. As you read this blog about Ryan Lochte, people are likely having sex with Ryan Lochte.

Or at least to his performance.

That’s how spectacular it was and that’s how fabulous he looked and  that’s how excited Americans got about the win.  The last time I saw America this excited and unified over someone was when Channing Tatum showed both ass cheeks in Magic Mike. Yep. I said it. Ryan Lotche is currently on the level of Channing Tatum’s ass cheeks.

Welcome to the world of American infatuation Lochte. Prepare to be giffed and tumbled and tweeted and objectified. And then, just when you feel like you couldn’t be any more adored. Prepare for someone to leak a Ryan Lochte sex tape from your non-famous years. Then after that, you’re living on easy street. Reality shows, marriages to C-list celebrities and a hosting position on a primetime network show that sets up recently paroled athletes with recently rehabbed child stars.

Although Michael Phelps dominated the Bejing Olympics in medals and “but is he hot?” conversations in 2008, people have been saying that Ryan Lochte is the one to watch during the London games. And it looks like these people were right because our boy Phelps didn’t even get a medal.

He got fourth place. In Toddlers & Tiaras world, that’s enough to make a mother cry — and then threaten to snap another four-year-old’s tiara while she rips a weave out of her toddler’s head. Yes, it’s that bad.

So forget you ever even know the name Michael Phelps, because Ryan Lochte is the guy you’re going to want to be sending your dirty tweets to this year.

(Photo: Vogue Via Huffington Post/Tumblr)

Related posts:

• So Let’s Talk About The London Olympics Opening Ceremony
• I Guess I Have To Accept That I’ll Never Be an Olympic Gymnast
• 10 Super Funny Olympic ECards To Make Up For The Fact You’re Unathletic
• Ranking The Summer Olympic Sports: From Most Fun To Watch To…Weightlifting
• With 15 Condoms Available Per Person, We Predict Which Olympians Will Be Having The Most Sex

Post from: Crushable

There are — believe it or not — married celebrity couples who have come back from cheating scandals, whether just allegations or admitted affairs. Click through the slideshow to see wedded celebs who vowed to love each other through thick and thin …
See all stories on this topic »

There are — believe it or not — married celebrity couples who have come back from cheating scandals, whether just allegations or admitted affairs. Click through the slideshow to see wedded celebs who vowed to love each other through thick and thin …
See all stories on this topic »

Any by that we mean he can’t stop using you to garner a little attention for himself.

It’s been two years since his divorce from Katie Price, yet the memory of Peter Andre’s marriage to her haunts his memories still. Peter was a guest on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories this weekend, and he opened up about how their relationship has scarred him for life.

He explained:

“I think that’s what hurts the most about what went wrong a few years ago. Because I’d just come from the worst place in my life. I’m not blaming anybody, but when I finally found happiness (with Price), it was the first time I’d felt good. I felt good about everything. I think that’s probably why I’ve never been able to (move on)… I’ve moved on in leaps and bounds in one way but in another way I’m still a bit tortured inside.”

Yes, breakups can be difficult.

But c’mon! Time to move on! This tortured soul bit isn’t really going to get you anywhere. Let’s try a different angle to get your career started again, okay?

[Image via WENN.]

Katy Perry worked hard for the first part of the summer, promoting her movie ‘Part of Me.’ She had to do that coming right off of a tour. On top of a busy professional life, Katy had to deal with the disintegration of her marriage to Russell Brand and the subsequent divorce. I’d say she’s LONG overdue for a vacation! Katy deserves this time in Miami Beach.

I have to say, though, given how close Katy and Rihanna are, I’m surprised Katy hasn’t flown out to join her BFF in Cannes. They’d probably have a great time parasailing and hanging out on a yacht together. Maybe Katy has to get back to work soon and can’t fly over there, but I hope she has a decent amount of time off!

Photos by WENN

(GettyImages.com)

Ryan Lochte beat fellow U.S. swimmer Michael Phelps in the 400-meter individual medley at the Summer Olympics in London on Saturday, dethroning the world’s most successful Olympian and cementing Lochte’s rise as one of the stars of these Games.

The 27-year-old won the gold medal with a time of 4 minutes, 5.18 seconds, faster than Brazil’s Thiago Pereira and Japan’s Kosuke Hagino.

“I think I’m kind of in shock right now,” said Lochte following his victory.

PHOTOS BELOW

Phelps, who barely qualified for the event, failed to win a medal for the first time since the 2000 Sydney Olympics, when he was 15.

Since then, he’d competing in 16 events — winning 14 gold medals and two bronzes.

It was Lochte’s seventh medal overall, after having collected four golds, two silvers and a bronze over the course of the 2004 and 2008 Games.

After the race, Phelps congratulated Lochte on Twitter, writing, “Congrats to @ryanlochte … Way to keep that title in the country where it belongs!!”

Phelps sounded hopeful about the rest of this Olympiad, tweeting, “Not pleased with my race tonight at all… But tom is a new day! And a new race!!”

He still has six more events in London, and remains two medals behind Soviet gymnast Larisa Latynina’s record of 18.

Will Phelps get the record? Will Lochte be the face of these Olympics?

We’ll find out over the next two weeks.

Check out photos from the race below!

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