Entries from June 2014 ↓

MICHELLE Obama means business.

The First Lady has reportedly hired a team of private detectives to compile a secret file containing incriminating new charges that Barack Obama cheated on her.

“Michelle now has all the dirt on Obama’s women,” a source told American tabloid the National Enquirer.

“A private detective has compiled her secret divorce file, and it contains incriminating charges of cheating by the President.

“Barack won’t have a prayer if he tries to defend himself. The secret file details his every flirt, fling and grope, and how Michelle was humiliated by the many women Barack lusted after.

“The file, which has been hidden away for Michelle, consists of notebook entries and other information. Some comes from private investigators hired by members of her inner circle through contacts in Chicago and Washington.

“She learned that Barack was caught with a woman on a solo overseas trip, an incident that, in the words of one mole, was ‘hushed up’.

“Besides that, a Secret Service agent also saw the president ‘in a compromising position’ with another woman while Michelle was out of town.”

The file also details how Barack still plays golf with high school buddy Bobby Titcomb, who was arrested in an undercover prostitution bust in Honolulu.

“Michelle was not only outraged, she wondered why the president would hang out with someone who solicits prostitutes,” said the insider.

“She believes something shady is going on.

“Michelle’s file raises questions in view of his lenient attitude toward marijuana.

“The president loves alcohol, as well. These days he drinks beer, wine, martinis, sparkling wine and margaritas. In fact, I don’t think he’s met a drink he doesn’t like!

“The divorce file is all the protection Michelle needs to leave the marriage,” added the source. “This will be Barack’s punishment for the many humiliations she’s suffered.”

Taking to Twitter on Wednesday, WAG Coleen hinted at the former escort’s claims in a tweet addressed to her 1.13 million followers.

TOM Cruise will get a girlfriend sooner rather than later!

The actor’s Lone Ranger star pal Armie Hammer’s wife, Elizabeth, is playing matchmaker — and plans to friend Cruise — who’s divorced from Katie Holmes — a woman ASAP.

“She’s a very busybody matchmaker type and is seeking out the perfect woman for Tom,  and she doesn’t have to be famous, either,” a source told RadarOnline.

“Tom is on the hunt for a new girl and appreciates Elizabeth’s efforts.”

Armie, 27, and Cruise, 51, met via director Guy Ritchie when Cruise was considering a role in his movie The Man From U.N.C.L.E., in which Armie stars.

“They really hit it off and he and his wife became Tom’s  besties. Elizabeth thinks the world of Tom and can’t stand to see him alone,” said the source.

“But whether his Scientology cronies approve of Elizabeth’s match-making attempts remains to be seen. Tom is open to anything at the moment.”

JOHN Travolta and Kelly Preston are being forced to stay together.

According to American tabloid the National Enquirer, the couple have been living separate lives for years — but will stay in their reported­ly deteriorating marriage and dodge a $ 220 million divorce after leaders in the Church of Scientology ordered them not to split.

“I think Kelly feels trapped, but she’ll follow what church leaders say because she and John are now Scientology’s most high-profile couple,” said a source.

“They’ve been told it would be ‘disastrous’ to the church if they divorced, so to shore up their re­portedly crumbling marriage they’ve been advised to undergo some new counseling.

“The church has taken some pretty harsh public relations hits over the years. It’s very important for John and Kelly to soldier through as a couple to show the world that theirs is a happy marriage made stron­ger through Scientology teachings.”

Travolta, 60, has admitted that the couple has undergone Scientology marital counseling in the past.

“Our church does a lot to keep us to­gether,” he said.

“When we have issues, we go settle it up.”

AS someone who spent the better part of high school drawing Iron Maiden’s Eddie on my folders, I can appreciate the importance of the metal album cover.  Heavy metal had reached its high water mark in the 1980s, and there was no shortage of creative, insane, and godawful album covers hitting the shelves of the record store.  Sabbath’s debut was wicked yet subtle just a decade earlier; by the 1980s things had gotten…. shall we say, “less nuanced”?

Here’s a look at some of these 80s metal covers, in all their obnoxious glory.

Destruction – Release from Agony (1987)

It may be the 80s, but this is as far from skinny ties and Paula Abdul as you get.  Look at this cover and you can almost understand why hair metal got to be so popular – you can only revel in the muck of your own misery for so long.  Even metalheads need a little levity.

Toxik – Think This (1989)

I’m sure this is commentary on the brainwashing of the masses via television.  However, I’m looking at what’s on and it doesn’t look half bad: an action movie (hell yes), a big ass hamburger (yum), a beer commercial (I’m thirsty already), a naked chick (no problem there), and what looks to be real news (as opposed to the fluff we have today).  I’m sorry Toxik, but I think I’ll pull a chair up and join the herd!

Helloween – Keeper of the Seven Keys – Part 1 (1987)

I do appreciate how metal in the 70s and 80s was unafraid to take a walk with Tolkien from time to time, even though it could compromise your metal cred. Indeed, Led Zep is often disavowed by metalheads due to their tendency to forsake the Hammer of the Gods in favor of Music for the Maypole.  Kiss’ venture into fantasy (The Elder LP) was actually damn good music, but almost universally hated.  The trick was to do it with the right amount of screeching vocals and thundering guitars; just ask Maiden.

Metal MC – Born to Party (1988)

He looks absolutely retarded, but in defense of Metal MC, the metal-rap thingy was fairly new in ’88.  Run DMC had done the Aerosmith shtick in ’86 and the Beastie Boys had gotten huge that same year by combining heavy guitars and hip-hop.  But by the end of the 1990s rap-metal (aka Nu-Metal) had worn out its welcome – to the point that a Limp Bizkit song seems absolutely cringeworthy today.

Mortal Sin – Mayhemic Destruction (1987)

My understanding is that this is a good album, in the vein of Metallica’s Kill ‘Em All.  However, there’s a couple problems.  First, “mayhemic” is not a word… and as a made up word, it’s a terrible one.  Second, that demon is presumably delivering destruction to the city with his hands, but it looks like he’s playing with himself.  Maiden’s Eddie is an excellent mascot for a metal band…. Mortal Sin’s giant winged masturbating demon – not so much.

Aaronsrod – Illusions Kill (1986)

No disrespect to Aaronsrod, but this is a terrible cover.  From left to right: (1) a very un-metal belly laugh, (2) generic lead-singer grimace, (3) posing as if cupping someone’s balls whilst crying, (4) tasting a booger, and (5) suppressing vomit.  Metal Fail Level 11.

 Liege Lord – Burn to My Touch (1986)

This would have been perfect airbrushed onto the side of a 1970s custom van. I picture the interior completely covered in thick burnt-orange shag, with many a well-smoked roach buried in its fibers. You would never let your daughter enter this sort of van – bad things happen within.

New York Metal – 84 (1984)

This is a compilation record.  I include it only because there is a man wearing what looks to be a diaper on the cover. I know spandex was big in the Los Angeles music scene and leather was big with the British metal bands…. I can only assume disposable diapers were big in New York.

And speaking of unfortunate attire…

Raven – The Pack is Back (1986)

Was it laundry day at the Raven household?  Part professional wrestler, part disco queen – the only word that adequately describes the Raven wardrobe is “unfortunate”.

Mama’s Boys – Power and Passion (1985)

I’m not sure I understand what’s going on here, but I don’t think it matters.  There’s a hot chick splayed out on a very metal throne.  Unlike the giant winged masturbating demon, this cover more than fulfils its quota from The 6 Requirements of Metal Album Covers.  Not familiar with them?  Check out Your Guidebook to Creating a Proper Heavy Metal Album Cover, and may the metal be with you.

(Getty Images)

Casey Kasem is being taken off of life support.

On Wednesday, a judge in the iconic broadcaster’s conservatorship case reversed a ruling that had required doctors to keep 82-year-old alive at a hospice in Washington State.

According to TMZ, his children will now fulfill what they say are Kasem’s wishes.

They tell the outlet Kasem said, “If the extension of my life would result in mere biological existence, devoid of cognitive function, with no reasonable hope for normal functioning, then I do not desire any form of life-sustaining procedures, including nutrition and hydration.”

His wife Jean has been warring with Kasem’s children over his health and treatment, and was reportedly furious with the judge’s decision.

Gossip Cop will have updates on this sad situation.

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While most of us know that Dave Chappelle walked away from an extremely lucrative, multi-million dollar deal at Comedy Central, very few of us actually know why, because he doesn’t like to talk about it. But he opened up to Dave Letterman last night, giving us some of the first insight into his decisions that anyone has gotten in seven years. More »

Dave Chappelle Finally Explains Where He Went After He Bailed On Comedy Central is a post from Crushable – Entertainment, Hot Guys, Movies and Celebrity News.

With their late father’s  estate valued at $ 2billion, it’s no surprise that Michael Jackson’s kids are used to living the good life. But you’ll be shocked when you hear just how good of a life it is.

While most kids may score a few bucks at the end of every week for keeping their room clean, Michael Jackson’s three children – Paris, Prince, and Blanket – each rake in about $ 222,000 per month in spending money.

According to sources close to the family, the three children used to get $ 5million per year to split between the three of them, but since Michael’s estate has been making money hand over fist since his death, they’re now splitting a yearly allowance of $ 8million. Yes, that’s right – they got a huge raise!

DListed is reporting that Blanket, in particular, is very generous with his money, and often splashes out on fancy dinners with his cousins.

While he enjoys the personal chef at the Jackson family’s $ 26,500-a-month rented mansion in Calabasas, Calif., he regularly dials his cousins and treats them to dinner at trendy restaurants before taking in a movie. The tab: usually about $ 500 plus tips.

“These things that they’re doing they are mostly paying for themselves, with their own money. Look, they also get $ 15,000 to $ 20,000 every month just in walking-around money. No one else has that kind of dough around here,” one source said.

“This is why you have had so much of the fighting going on in the family. But the battles have calmed since their uncles have finally found consistent work and everyone has pretty much left [Katherine] alone about money.”

Woah.

Photos via Fame Flynet.