Entries Tagged 'Gossip' ↓

ARSENAL Balls. In January 2013, Arsene Wenger told us about Cesc Fabregas:

“I’m not convinced that he won’t come back here one day. He is really an Arsenal man. He loves Arsenal and watches every game of Arsenal. But of course Barcelona was his home town where he grew up and you have to accept that will come into it, especially with them having the best team in the world. [Fábregas would not come back] in the next two, three years, certainly not, because he is linked with Barcelona. But maybe later.”

Next season Fabregas The Gooner can watch Arsenal games up close – for at least two of them (against Chelsea) he’ll most likely be on the same pitch…

THE Gothic horror tradition can be traced back to any number of sources.  Mathew Lewis’ Monk is probably the best starting point: it has every Gothic convention you can imagine: darkened tombs, black misty forests, haunted hallways, satanic clergy.  It would make one helluva movie, but it’s so nonlinear that I honestly don’t see how you could translate it to a screenplay.

It was Ann Radcliff’s The Mysteries of Udolpho (1794) that really serves as the impetus for the “women running from houses” genre. What exactly is the “women running from houses” genre?  I’m glad you asked.  It refers to Gothic romance novels (generally paperback) which WITHOUT EXCEPTION pictured a woman running from a house on the cover.  It’s really a bit insane when you think about it: for several decades an entire genre (a quite popular one at that) featured the exact same cover with very little variation.  It’s mental.

Here’s the composition that’s copied time and again:

 1. There is always a sinister looking residence in the background

2. There is often a single lighted window.  Never two – never a porch light or car headlights… just that one damn window!

3. Sometimes there is a shadowy male figure lurking between the girl and the house – sometimes the figure is located in the entryway or in the window.  You can never get a clear look at this mysterious person.

4. There is always a woman in foreground.  She is usually running; she may be paused or hiding, but always in the process of escaping the sinister house.

Take for instance the next couple books:

The Rest Is Silence has check-marks beside all four; whereas, The Third Woman doesn’t have the lurking male figure.  You get the picture?  Okay, so I think it’s time to make it abundantly clear how often this template was used.  This wasn’t an occasional format… this was an obsessive obedience to the laws of gothic romance covers that  bordered on insanity.   Yet, here they are. Enjoy.

Earlier this year, Alan returned to his most famous role, Jonathan Creek. If you imagine he had a ball going back to playing the sleuth, well, that wasn’t the case.

Mila Kunis, who is pregnant with her first child with fiance Ashton Kutcher, is on the cover of the July issue of Marie Claire, chatting all about her relationship with friend-turned-fiance Ashton Kutcher, and her “Year of Yes.”

Recently on Jimmy Kimmel Mila also took to the stage to discuss why she feels it’s silly when men say “we’re pregnant” in reference to their partner having a baby. In typical Mila fashion the pint-sized starlet took Jimmy to task, asking him if he was also having a baby, in addition to his wife. Naturally, hilarity ensued.

Check out some tidbits from her interview with Marie Claire below, and be sure to pick up the issue on newsstands June 24. Or read more of the interview here!

On giving birth: “Two people are allowed in my delivery room. My doctor and my significant other. And he is staying above the action. He’ll be head to head. Not head to vag. Unless he wants to risk his life and see. But I wouldn’t if I were him. I highly doubt he wants to see that being ripped apart and shredded. Because it will be shredded. It’s just a matter of how badly.”

On her friend-turned-fiancé Ashton Kutcher: “One day, it just changed. All of a sudden, it wasn’t the same. And I was really proud of myself for acknowledging that. The best day of my life so far was the proposal. I cried. I was a mess. Not to discredit any relationships in my past, but this relationship is different.”

On her Year of Yes: “I was really good at saying no. I decided I was just going to say yes to any opportunity that came, no matter how crazy. And it changed my life.”

Photos via Fame Flynet and Tesh/Marie Claire.

Taking to Twitter on Wednesday, WAG Coleen hinted at the former escort’s claims in a tweet addressed to her 1.13 million followers.

AS someone who spent the better part of high school drawing Iron Maiden’s Eddie on my folders, I can appreciate the importance of the metal album cover.  Heavy metal had reached its high water mark in the 1980s, and there was no shortage of creative, insane, and godawful album covers hitting the shelves of the record store.  Sabbath’s debut was wicked yet subtle just a decade earlier; by the 1980s things had gotten…. shall we say, “less nuanced”?

Here’s a look at some of these 80s metal covers, in all their obnoxious glory.

Destruction – Release from Agony (1987)

It may be the 80s, but this is as far from skinny ties and Paula Abdul as you get.  Look at this cover and you can almost understand why hair metal got to be so popular – you can only revel in the muck of your own misery for so long.  Even metalheads need a little levity.

Toxik – Think This (1989)

I’m sure this is commentary on the brainwashing of the masses via television.  However, I’m looking at what’s on and it doesn’t look half bad: an action movie (hell yes), a big ass hamburger (yum), a beer commercial (I’m thirsty already), a naked chick (no problem there), and what looks to be real news (as opposed to the fluff we have today).  I’m sorry Toxik, but I think I’ll pull a chair up and join the herd!

Helloween – Keeper of the Seven Keys – Part 1 (1987)

I do appreciate how metal in the 70s and 80s was unafraid to take a walk with Tolkien from time to time, even though it could compromise your metal cred. Indeed, Led Zep is often disavowed by metalheads due to their tendency to forsake the Hammer of the Gods in favor of Music for the Maypole.  Kiss’ venture into fantasy (The Elder LP) was actually damn good music, but almost universally hated.  The trick was to do it with the right amount of screeching vocals and thundering guitars; just ask Maiden.

Metal MC – Born to Party (1988)

He looks absolutely retarded, but in defense of Metal MC, the metal-rap thingy was fairly new in ’88.  Run DMC had done the Aerosmith shtick in ’86 and the Beastie Boys had gotten huge that same year by combining heavy guitars and hip-hop.  But by the end of the 1990s rap-metal (aka Nu-Metal) had worn out its welcome – to the point that a Limp Bizkit song seems absolutely cringeworthy today.

Mortal Sin – Mayhemic Destruction (1987)

My understanding is that this is a good album, in the vein of Metallica’s Kill ‘Em All.  However, there’s a couple problems.  First, “mayhemic” is not a word… and as a made up word, it’s a terrible one.  Second, that demon is presumably delivering destruction to the city with his hands, but it looks like he’s playing with himself.  Maiden’s Eddie is an excellent mascot for a metal band…. Mortal Sin’s giant winged masturbating demon – not so much.

Aaronsrod – Illusions Kill (1986)

No disrespect to Aaronsrod, but this is a terrible cover.  From left to right: (1) a very un-metal belly laugh, (2) generic lead-singer grimace, (3) posing as if cupping someone’s balls whilst crying, (4) tasting a booger, and (5) suppressing vomit.  Metal Fail Level 11.

 Liege Lord – Burn to My Touch (1986)

This would have been perfect airbrushed onto the side of a 1970s custom van. I picture the interior completely covered in thick burnt-orange shag, with many a well-smoked roach buried in its fibers. You would never let your daughter enter this sort of van – bad things happen within.

New York Metal – 84 (1984)

This is a compilation record.  I include it only because there is a man wearing what looks to be a diaper on the cover. I know spandex was big in the Los Angeles music scene and leather was big with the British metal bands…. I can only assume disposable diapers were big in New York.

And speaking of unfortunate attire…

Raven – The Pack is Back (1986)

Was it laundry day at the Raven household?  Part professional wrestler, part disco queen – the only word that adequately describes the Raven wardrobe is “unfortunate”.

Mama’s Boys – Power and Passion (1985)

I’m not sure I understand what’s going on here, but I don’t think it matters.  There’s a hot chick splayed out on a very metal throne.  Unlike the giant winged masturbating demon, this cover more than fulfils its quota from The 6 Requirements of Metal Album Covers.  Not familiar with them?  Check out Your Guidebook to Creating a Proper Heavy Metal Album Cover, and may the metal be with you.

With their late father’s  estate valued at $ 2billion, it’s no surprise that Michael Jackson’s kids are used to living the good life. But you’ll be shocked when you hear just how good of a life it is.

While most kids may score a few bucks at the end of every week for keeping their room clean, Michael Jackson’s three children – Paris, Prince, and Blanket – each rake in about $ 222,000 per month in spending money.

According to sources close to the family, the three children used to get $ 5million per year to split between the three of them, but since Michael’s estate has been making money hand over fist since his death, they’re now splitting a yearly allowance of $ 8million. Yes, that’s right – they got a huge raise!

DListed is reporting that Blanket, in particular, is very generous with his money, and often splashes out on fancy dinners with his cousins.

While he enjoys the personal chef at the Jackson family’s $ 26,500-a-month rented mansion in Calabasas, Calif., he regularly dials his cousins and treats them to dinner at trendy restaurants before taking in a movie. The tab: usually about $ 500 plus tips.

“These things that they’re doing they are mostly paying for themselves, with their own money. Look, they also get $ 15,000 to $ 20,000 every month just in walking-around money. No one else has that kind of dough around here,” one source said.

“This is why you have had so much of the fighting going on in the family. But the battles have calmed since their uncles have finally found consistent work and everyone has pretty much left [Katherine] alone about money.”

Woah.

Photos via Fame Flynet.

The Duchess had two official engagements to attend yesterday – meaning a change of outfit, and another masterclass in how to recycle outfits a la Kate.

It’s a good thing Halle Berry has a job right now with her TV show ‘Extant’! The court recently ordered Halle to pay Nahla’s father, Gabriel Aubry, $ 16,000 per month in child support until Halle is 19 or graduates from high school, whichever comes first. RELATED: Halle Berry said Nahla is a “very serious” big sister. 

TMZ reported Halle was also ordered to pay $ 115,000 in retroactive child support. She was even ordered to pay Gabriel’s $ 300,000 in attorney’s fees. OUCH. Well, mothers have been getting these types of child support orders for years, so it’s only fair that fathers who earn less than mothers should get the same. It seems exorbitant, but the whole point of child support is that the child is supposed to live in the same manner with each parent.

Gabriel won’t have to worry about booking too many modeling jobs, that’s for sure.

Photos by FAMEFLYNET

TRANSFER Balls: A look at Real Madrid’s Alvaro Morata in the British Press.

Today the Sun tells readers:

ARSENAL have been handed a massive transfer boost with the news that Alvaro Morata is free to leave Real Madrid.

Free?

Arsene Wenger has been hot on the heels of the Spanish Under-21 youngster for six months. And now the Gunners have been given the green light to make a move after Real boss Carlo Ancelotti revealed the club are happy to sanction the whizkid’s exit.

What did the Italian coach say?

“The player wants to play more minutes and the club agrees. If he could find the chance of playing it would be good that he had the chance for a year. If Morata goes then we’ll have to think about signing a similar striker with the same characteristics, a youngster.”

If he goes away for a year?

This is a scoop? It’s just that on May 29, the Daily Express said:

Arsenal will beat Tottenham and Manchester United to the signing of Alvaro Morata after agreeing a buy-back clause in a deal with Real Madrid.

And the Star told us all that Morata joined Arsenal back in December 2013:

Is Morata any good. Yeah! In the summer of 2013, the Daily Express screamed:

 “Spurs want ‘new Gareth Bale’ Alvaro Morata included in Real deal for Welshman”

So. Arsenal want the new Bale. But they won’t get him. Why? Because the Star told us on May 31 2014:

Alvaro Morata turns back on Arsenal and Manchester United to sign for Juventus - REAL MADRID star Alvaro Morata has turned down the chance to move to the Premier League.

On June 3, the Mirror added:

Arsenal look set to lose out in their attempts to sign Real Madrid youngster Alvaro Morata, after the Spaniards lined up a swap deal with Juventus’ Arturo Vidal.

But on June 5, the Mail updated that news with:

Arsenal target Alvaro Morata will not join Juventus this summer, insist Real Madrid

Such are the facts…