Putting Britney Spears Wedding Rumors to Bed

(OK! Magazine)

At some point the tabs’ desire to report accurately on Britney Spears will trump their impulse to create fiction around a pun on the phrase “Oops… I did it again.”

But we aren’t there yet.

“The pop star and her boyfriend Jason Trawick decide to say ‘I do’,” announces OK! magazine before launching into a cover story that begins with the “Oops…” line and devolves from there.

Alert Gossip Cop readers might remember the busted rumor from just yesterday that Trawick rejected a Spears marriage proposal.

In this version of events, Spears received “her boys’ blessing” and decided to “move ahead with plans for her third wedding in five years.” How does OK! know? A so-called “source close to the couple” describes a moment in Perth, Australia when Trawick tucked in Spears’ sons and four-year-old Sean blurted, “Good night, Daddy!” At which point, the tab’s eyewitness to the epiphany reports, “Britney’s heart simply melted” and she decided to marry her beau.

Having gotten her life and career back on track, OK! continues, Spears wants “a real wedding” (according to a “friend”) and has told pals she’d like it to be on a beach in either Costa Rica, Hawaii, Mexico or Australia. (What, just those four? How about Iraq? North Korea?)

And who’s attending the ceremony? Spears plans on “flying in about 200 guests – including close family and celebrity pals,” with Madonna, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and ex Kevin Federline “among the rumored invitees.” The star’s parents are “all for her marrying Jason,” according to OK!, and after the Australian leg of her Circus tour ends, “Britney intends to put her bridal plans into action.”

Gossip Cop suggests Hilton, Lohan, and Federline leave their beach wear in the closet for the time being.

While Trawick and Spears may marry some day, it isn’t happening yet, and it isn’t happening because her son called her boyfriend “Daddy” in a moment that feels lifted from a syrupy made-for-TV movie. We don’t know why the gossip press is so insistent on Australia being the setting for Spears’ newest romantic leap of faith, but everything rumored from Down Under requires a huge leap of logic.

For what it’s worth, a source close to Spears tells Gossip Cop Britney beach wedding talk is “completely” untrue.

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